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'God has a purpose for my life'
BY PAUL A REID Observer writer
Sunday, August 11, 2013
MONTEGO BAY, St James — There are some battles in life that sports prepare you to fight, some more serious than others, some life threatening, even.
Many-time champion Novlene Williams-Mills will be seeking her second IAAF World Championships medal when she leads the Jamaican charge in the women's 400m at the 14th IAAF World Championships, which started yesterday in Moscow, Russia.
WILLIAMS-MILLS... if I can help to inspire other people suffering from cancer then I can say that I have served a purpose
The Florida-based Williams-Mills will be in her fourth World Championships and while making it to a fourth straight final will be her target, if she does not make it, don't expect her to behave as if the world will end.
After what the 31-year-old former Ferncourt High student-athlete has been through over the last 14 months or so, making the team to the World Championships is in itself a major victory.
In June 2012, just before the Jamaica Athletics Administrative Association's (JAAA's) National Senior Championships to select the team to the London Olympics, Williams-Mills was diagnosed with breast cancer.
It is hard enough to be preparing to make an Olympic team, but to deal with a life-altering situation like cancer can change your perspective in a heartbeat.
"Every emotion that you can feel was there — anger, disbelief, pain, betrayal — were just a few. It felt so unreal, like I was dreaming and I would wake up soon," she told the Sunday Observer in a recent interview.
The tumor was discovered during an annual check-up and despite the range of emotions that came with the confirmation, the warrior pushed on doing what she does best — competing.
Last year at the Jamaica International Invitational in May, Williams-Mills won the 400m, beating Jamaican-born Sanya Richards-Ross in a stirring battle, coming from behind in the final 60 metres to beat the American on the line. A month later with the knowledge of the cancer in her body, she ran 50.60 seconds to win the title and made the team to her third Olympic Games, qualifying for the final for the first time, before eventually finishing in fifth place.
A week after the Olympics, with the full support of her husband Jameel, and her family, she underwent a double mastectomy. The procedure saved her life.
"That was my best choice for me and the people I love and care about because I could not find myself living in 'whatifs'. That was not fair to me or the others around me because when you find yourself in [a] situation like this, sometimes you don't get to make choices, and I was given that opportunity."
A year later she is still making her mark on the track, again turning back a pack of young and promising Jamaican quarter-milers to win yet another national senior title and qualifying for the team to Moscow where she has her eyes set on at least matching the bronze she won in 2007 in Osaka, Japan.
Not that the results from last year or even this year mattered. "It did not matter anymore; what mattered was being able to do something that I love to do and that was what mattered most, at that point."
What if the cancer and the treatment prevented her from competing at the Olympics or ever competing again? "As I said, I did not know where this journey was going to take me. I did not know how I would do from day to day, how my body would react to everything; I just did not know how long anything would take. I was hoping it was going to be one surgery to remove the lump but I ended up with four surgeries, for example. So I did not know the unknown, so I was going to go with how my body reacted and felt and if I could not come back, then that was it," she said.
During the entire ordeal she was forced to review her priorities almost on a daily basis, but not once did she think of quitting the sport. "At the time there were so many things going on, but that was not something I was thinking about," she told the Observer. "I was thinking of getting through this ordeal and [seeing] where life takes me."
The daily grind of training was not easy for her, but it provided a respite from what she was going through.
"It was hard (going to training every day), but I know what was going on and while no one else at the track where I trained knew what was going on, it gave me a little time to think about it (the cancer) every minute of the day," she said.
"I used the training time as well as getting ready to compete and during competition as an escape world for me at that time because there was nothing I could do but sit and wait, and I needed something to keep me going, to take my mind off it."
At first, when she went in for her regular check-up and told her gynaecologist that she had felt a small lump in her breast, she said he recommended a mammogram "but it was not clear from the mammogram what it was, so he recommended me to do a biopsy, so that was when he was sure that it was cancer".
As should be expected from someone just turning 30 years old and in peak physical fitness, the news that she had cancer hit her hard.
Denial was among the many emotions she had to go through, thinking that "something was wrong with the result, that there was no way it was possible that my body that I spent so much time working out to get to this level of fitness could fail me. How can this be real?"
She went to those closest to her, and while they, too, were surprised, they pledged their support. "They promised that they would be with me on this journey no matter what it takes, and they have been doing that since day one... they have helped me so much, finding my way and keeping me grounded."
The practical medical steps were to get solid advice as to what her best options were moving forward.
"The first thing I had to do was an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) to see what was really going on and how to approach this surgery," she said.
Following the MRI she underwent her first of four procedures, a lumpectomy, which is a procedure to remove a malignant tumor from the breast. "The results came back inconclusive, so the next step was going back to surgery to remove more of the tissue and hope we can get a clean result," she said.
During that meeting, however, she got further bad news: tests on the lump they had removed from her breast revealed an aggressive type of cancer that had a "pretty high" chance of recurring and could have spread to the other breast as well.
Further consultation with other doctors who saw the pathological report confirmed the decision that a double mastectomy was the best option.
It was not an easy decision to make, she said. "This was something I had to talk about with my husband and see if it was something I really wanted to do," she said.
Not that there were lingering doubts in her mind, she confessed, as she has plans to start a family when she has taken off the spikes for the final time.
Williams-Mills told the Observer that at first when she decided to go through with the operation, she "felt empty because I was losing something that made me a lady, so it hurt, but the more I learn to live with what I have been through and not having my own breasts, I felt it would be okay; there are lots of mothers out there who don't breastfeed and their kids are okay".
Still, she will miss having that connection with her children, she said. "OK, it will still hurt that I will not be able to do that for my kids, but do I feel less of a woman?" she asked. "Oh no, I am still that lady who will always have a smile because I have come to realise it is not your breasts that make you a lady, it is your actions."
Her decision to go public with her surgery resulted in a groundswell of positive responses. "Oh my gosh, the support has been so great, I have people just walking up to me just to say 'I am so proud of you' and 'I don't know how you do it'. I have received so many messages on Facebook and elsewhere, the support has been overwhelming, more than I could ask for and I want to say thank you to all of who have reached out to me in one way or the other. It makes me feel like I have touched so many lives."
She has since been called a 'cancer survivor' and Williams-Mills has embraced the tag. "I don't get offended being a cancer survivor because I am a cancer survivor."
She has now taken on the role of an ambassador. "That means I can share my story with people. I can help someone who is going through a rough time in their life because this makes you look at life differently."
Her message is "Cancer is real, no matter your age, race, gender or colour, it can happen to anyone of us, so if you have a chance to check if in some point of your life you can get this deadly illness, go find out, please, before it is too late. If you can talk to family members to see if this is something in your genes, whatever it is to help, just go out there and find out. Please, get tested, as early detection can save lives."
A firm belief in a higher power, she said, has also helped. "Yes, I am a believer, I know that there is a God up there looking down on me because I know that He has a purpose for my life... while going through my struggle it gave me time to talk to God because only He alone knows how hard it was no matter how you tell someone they don't understand sometimes, but this gave me a chance to get closer to Him.
"I prayed like I have never prayed before, I tell Him whatever He wants me to do I will do it. If it is to help someone, let me know because I know He did not bring me though all this just to leave me."
Read more: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/sport...#ixzz2bfYIXApu
BY PAUL A REID Observer writer
Sunday, August 11, 2013
MONTEGO BAY, St James — There are some battles in life that sports prepare you to fight, some more serious than others, some life threatening, even.
Many-time champion Novlene Williams-Mills will be seeking her second IAAF World Championships medal when she leads the Jamaican charge in the women's 400m at the 14th IAAF World Championships, which started yesterday in Moscow, Russia.
WILLIAMS-MILLS... if I can help to inspire other people suffering from cancer then I can say that I have served a purpose
The Florida-based Williams-Mills will be in her fourth World Championships and while making it to a fourth straight final will be her target, if she does not make it, don't expect her to behave as if the world will end.
After what the 31-year-old former Ferncourt High student-athlete has been through over the last 14 months or so, making the team to the World Championships is in itself a major victory.
In June 2012, just before the Jamaica Athletics Administrative Association's (JAAA's) National Senior Championships to select the team to the London Olympics, Williams-Mills was diagnosed with breast cancer.
It is hard enough to be preparing to make an Olympic team, but to deal with a life-altering situation like cancer can change your perspective in a heartbeat.
"Every emotion that you can feel was there — anger, disbelief, pain, betrayal — were just a few. It felt so unreal, like I was dreaming and I would wake up soon," she told the Sunday Observer in a recent interview.
The tumor was discovered during an annual check-up and despite the range of emotions that came with the confirmation, the warrior pushed on doing what she does best — competing.
Last year at the Jamaica International Invitational in May, Williams-Mills won the 400m, beating Jamaican-born Sanya Richards-Ross in a stirring battle, coming from behind in the final 60 metres to beat the American on the line. A month later with the knowledge of the cancer in her body, she ran 50.60 seconds to win the title and made the team to her third Olympic Games, qualifying for the final for the first time, before eventually finishing in fifth place.
A week after the Olympics, with the full support of her husband Jameel, and her family, she underwent a double mastectomy. The procedure saved her life.
"That was my best choice for me and the people I love and care about because I could not find myself living in 'whatifs'. That was not fair to me or the others around me because when you find yourself in [a] situation like this, sometimes you don't get to make choices, and I was given that opportunity."
A year later she is still making her mark on the track, again turning back a pack of young and promising Jamaican quarter-milers to win yet another national senior title and qualifying for the team to Moscow where she has her eyes set on at least matching the bronze she won in 2007 in Osaka, Japan.
Not that the results from last year or even this year mattered. "It did not matter anymore; what mattered was being able to do something that I love to do and that was what mattered most, at that point."
What if the cancer and the treatment prevented her from competing at the Olympics or ever competing again? "As I said, I did not know where this journey was going to take me. I did not know how I would do from day to day, how my body would react to everything; I just did not know how long anything would take. I was hoping it was going to be one surgery to remove the lump but I ended up with four surgeries, for example. So I did not know the unknown, so I was going to go with how my body reacted and felt and if I could not come back, then that was it," she said.
During the entire ordeal she was forced to review her priorities almost on a daily basis, but not once did she think of quitting the sport. "At the time there were so many things going on, but that was not something I was thinking about," she told the Observer. "I was thinking of getting through this ordeal and [seeing] where life takes me."
The daily grind of training was not easy for her, but it provided a respite from what she was going through.
"It was hard (going to training every day), but I know what was going on and while no one else at the track where I trained knew what was going on, it gave me a little time to think about it (the cancer) every minute of the day," she said.
"I used the training time as well as getting ready to compete and during competition as an escape world for me at that time because there was nothing I could do but sit and wait, and I needed something to keep me going, to take my mind off it."
At first, when she went in for her regular check-up and told her gynaecologist that she had felt a small lump in her breast, she said he recommended a mammogram "but it was not clear from the mammogram what it was, so he recommended me to do a biopsy, so that was when he was sure that it was cancer".
As should be expected from someone just turning 30 years old and in peak physical fitness, the news that she had cancer hit her hard.
Denial was among the many emotions she had to go through, thinking that "something was wrong with the result, that there was no way it was possible that my body that I spent so much time working out to get to this level of fitness could fail me. How can this be real?"
She went to those closest to her, and while they, too, were surprised, they pledged their support. "They promised that they would be with me on this journey no matter what it takes, and they have been doing that since day one... they have helped me so much, finding my way and keeping me grounded."
The practical medical steps were to get solid advice as to what her best options were moving forward.
"The first thing I had to do was an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) to see what was really going on and how to approach this surgery," she said.
Following the MRI she underwent her first of four procedures, a lumpectomy, which is a procedure to remove a malignant tumor from the breast. "The results came back inconclusive, so the next step was going back to surgery to remove more of the tissue and hope we can get a clean result," she said.
During that meeting, however, she got further bad news: tests on the lump they had removed from her breast revealed an aggressive type of cancer that had a "pretty high" chance of recurring and could have spread to the other breast as well.
Further consultation with other doctors who saw the pathological report confirmed the decision that a double mastectomy was the best option.
It was not an easy decision to make, she said. "This was something I had to talk about with my husband and see if it was something I really wanted to do," she said.
Not that there were lingering doubts in her mind, she confessed, as she has plans to start a family when she has taken off the spikes for the final time.
Williams-Mills told the Observer that at first when she decided to go through with the operation, she "felt empty because I was losing something that made me a lady, so it hurt, but the more I learn to live with what I have been through and not having my own breasts, I felt it would be okay; there are lots of mothers out there who don't breastfeed and their kids are okay".
Still, she will miss having that connection with her children, she said. "OK, it will still hurt that I will not be able to do that for my kids, but do I feel less of a woman?" she asked. "Oh no, I am still that lady who will always have a smile because I have come to realise it is not your breasts that make you a lady, it is your actions."
Her decision to go public with her surgery resulted in a groundswell of positive responses. "Oh my gosh, the support has been so great, I have people just walking up to me just to say 'I am so proud of you' and 'I don't know how you do it'. I have received so many messages on Facebook and elsewhere, the support has been overwhelming, more than I could ask for and I want to say thank you to all of who have reached out to me in one way or the other. It makes me feel like I have touched so many lives."
She has since been called a 'cancer survivor' and Williams-Mills has embraced the tag. "I don't get offended being a cancer survivor because I am a cancer survivor."
She has now taken on the role of an ambassador. "That means I can share my story with people. I can help someone who is going through a rough time in their life because this makes you look at life differently."
Her message is "Cancer is real, no matter your age, race, gender or colour, it can happen to anyone of us, so if you have a chance to check if in some point of your life you can get this deadly illness, go find out, please, before it is too late. If you can talk to family members to see if this is something in your genes, whatever it is to help, just go out there and find out. Please, get tested, as early detection can save lives."
A firm belief in a higher power, she said, has also helped. "Yes, I am a believer, I know that there is a God up there looking down on me because I know that He has a purpose for my life... while going through my struggle it gave me time to talk to God because only He alone knows how hard it was no matter how you tell someone they don't understand sometimes, but this gave me a chance to get closer to Him.
"I prayed like I have never prayed before, I tell Him whatever He wants me to do I will do it. If it is to help someone, let me know because I know He did not bring me though all this just to leave me."
Read more: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/sport...#ixzz2bfYIXApu