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Code names, legitimate rape and a little hell
Published: Monday | August 27, 2012 Comments 0
The Soloist, Contributor
There's never a dull moment in Jamaica; that's a fact. Can you imagine my shock when in the Garden Parish last weekend, I found out that some women keep men filed under code names in their phones? Yes, one very nosey boyfriend discovered the embarrassing truth about himself after going through his woman's phone.
He found his number listed under 'Phone Bill' and as he scrolled he found that 'JPS' represented another man and 'Supermarket' was the name given to her child's father. A clever system for an unemployed woman, wouldn't you agree?
The guy telling the story was so upset, he was venting to all his co-workers.
However, he felt little better when one of his male listeners joined in the conversation with his own 'love story'. He had bought dentures for a toothless love interest only to have her report to him weeks later how many men were now admiring her newly bought smile. The tooth fairy godfather was so incensed, he said he was hatching a plan to take back his teeth! LOL.
The poor phone searcher found it hard to swallow that the girl he loved was only into him for the monthly phone bill; meanwhile, the tooth fairy is fattening cockroach to feed fowl. Do you think men will ever get it? Many women don't love them, they love their bank accounts. Duh!
Todd Akin the twit
Many of us women knew all along that we have magical powers, but it took Todd Akin, Republican congressman from Missouri, USA, who's running for senate, to voice it. Joke aside, the man had the nerve to utter the following statement made during an interview: "From what I understand from doctors (pregnancy from rape) is really rare," said Akin in the interview. "If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down."
The congressman has since said that he had 'misspoke.' but the entire United States of America is doing everything to make sure his two feet remain planted in his mouth. I have a nice piece of real estate for anyone who can explain to me what "legitimate rape" is and also, tell me what are the ways that a female body uses to try to "shut down the whole thing" when it happens. Yikes!
Hell ... no diploma!
Then, this story takes the cake. Some school officials really have nothing to do except try to retard the future of promising students with a mind of their own. I came across this story on the Internet and, in a nutshell, this is how it goes:
Kaitlin Nootbaar will not get her high school diploma unless she apologises for using the word 'hell' in her valedictory speech. She has the full backing of her father too. Apparently inspired by the movie The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, Nootbaar who was Prague, Okalohama City High School valedictorian, told her classmates that at one point she wanted to be a nurse, then a veterinarian but as she approached graduation and people asked her what she wanted to do, she'd reply: "How the hell do I know? I've changed my mind so many times."
Seems like Nootbaar, a straight-A student, had used the word 'heck' in the written remarks shown to officials before the event, and changed it to hell when she spoke. Nootbaar says she doesn't consider the context in which she used the word 'hell' in her commencement speech inappropriate or even impolite.
But Schools Superintendent Rick Martin said in a statement that while Nootbaar is an outstanding student, she used an inappropriate word and the request for an apology is reasonable. Can you believe this comes from a country that prides itself on freedom of speech?
In spite of this, she will start classes at Southwestern Oklahoma State University next month on a full scholarship. All I can say is, continue giving them hell, girl!
lifestyle@gleanerjm.com
Published: Monday | August 27, 2012 Comments 0
The Soloist, Contributor
There's never a dull moment in Jamaica; that's a fact. Can you imagine my shock when in the Garden Parish last weekend, I found out that some women keep men filed under code names in their phones? Yes, one very nosey boyfriend discovered the embarrassing truth about himself after going through his woman's phone.
He found his number listed under 'Phone Bill' and as he scrolled he found that 'JPS' represented another man and 'Supermarket' was the name given to her child's father. A clever system for an unemployed woman, wouldn't you agree?
The guy telling the story was so upset, he was venting to all his co-workers.
However, he felt little better when one of his male listeners joined in the conversation with his own 'love story'. He had bought dentures for a toothless love interest only to have her report to him weeks later how many men were now admiring her newly bought smile. The tooth fairy godfather was so incensed, he said he was hatching a plan to take back his teeth! LOL.
The poor phone searcher found it hard to swallow that the girl he loved was only into him for the monthly phone bill; meanwhile, the tooth fairy is fattening cockroach to feed fowl. Do you think men will ever get it? Many women don't love them, they love their bank accounts. Duh!
Todd Akin the twit
Many of us women knew all along that we have magical powers, but it took Todd Akin, Republican congressman from Missouri, USA, who's running for senate, to voice it. Joke aside, the man had the nerve to utter the following statement made during an interview: "From what I understand from doctors (pregnancy from rape) is really rare," said Akin in the interview. "If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down."
The congressman has since said that he had 'misspoke.' but the entire United States of America is doing everything to make sure his two feet remain planted in his mouth. I have a nice piece of real estate for anyone who can explain to me what "legitimate rape" is and also, tell me what are the ways that a female body uses to try to "shut down the whole thing" when it happens. Yikes!
Hell ... no diploma!
Then, this story takes the cake. Some school officials really have nothing to do except try to retard the future of promising students with a mind of their own. I came across this story on the Internet and, in a nutshell, this is how it goes:
Kaitlin Nootbaar will not get her high school diploma unless she apologises for using the word 'hell' in her valedictory speech. She has the full backing of her father too. Apparently inspired by the movie The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, Nootbaar who was Prague, Okalohama City High School valedictorian, told her classmates that at one point she wanted to be a nurse, then a veterinarian but as she approached graduation and people asked her what she wanted to do, she'd reply: "How the hell do I know? I've changed my mind so many times."
Seems like Nootbaar, a straight-A student, had used the word 'heck' in the written remarks shown to officials before the event, and changed it to hell when she spoke. Nootbaar says she doesn't consider the context in which she used the word 'hell' in her commencement speech inappropriate or even impolite.
But Schools Superintendent Rick Martin said in a statement that while Nootbaar is an outstanding student, she used an inappropriate word and the request for an apology is reasonable. Can you believe this comes from a country that prides itself on freedom of speech?
In spite of this, she will start classes at Southwestern Oklahoma State University next month on a full scholarship. All I can say is, continue giving them hell, girl!
lifestyle@gleanerjm.com