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Friday! Over 18s please? -
Jamaican farmer named Ralph had an accident with a lorry and was suing the lorry company. In court their hot-shot solicitor was questioning Ralph..
Solicitor
'Now didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'
Ralph
'Well , I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow Bessie into the...'
Solicitor
'I didn't ask for any details , just answer the question. Did you not tell the police officer at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine !" ?'
Ralph
'Well, I had just got Bessie into the sidecar and I was driving down the road.....'
The solicitor interrupted again and said,
'Your Honor , I am trying to establish the fact that , at the scene of the accident this man told the police that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ralph's answer and said to the solicitor:
'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow Bessie'.
Ralph thanked the Judge and proceeded.
'Well as I was saying , I had just loaded Bessie , my favorite cow , into the sidecar and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit me right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt very bad like and didn't want to move. However , I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her and saw her condition , he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the policeman came charging across the road , gun still in hand, looked me up and down , and said
'How badly are you hurt?'
'Now what the ******** would you have said'?
Solicitor
'Now didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'
Ralph
'Well , I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow Bessie into the...'
Solicitor
'I didn't ask for any details , just answer the question. Did you not tell the police officer at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine !" ?'
Ralph
'Well, I had just got Bessie into the sidecar and I was driving down the road.....'
The solicitor interrupted again and said,
'Your Honor , I am trying to establish the fact that , at the scene of the accident this man told the police that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ralph's answer and said to the solicitor:
'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow Bessie'.
Ralph thanked the Judge and proceeded.
'Well as I was saying , I had just loaded Bessie , my favorite cow , into the sidecar and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit me right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt very bad like and didn't want to move. However , I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her and saw her condition , he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the policeman came charging across the road , gun still in hand, looked me up and down , and said
'How badly are you hurt?'
'Now what the ******** would you have said'?
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